


Idiots In Love

by TheHarperGrey



Series: Idiots In Love [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29265210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHarperGrey/pseuds/TheHarperGrey
Summary: Regina and David have been married for years but have a *slight* miscommunication.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Prince Charming | David Nolan
Series: Idiots In Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149134
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	Idiots In Love

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm in the process of switching over to this platform so I decided to post some of my EC stories here. If you are following here for my SQ story, I do plan to continue that one and apologize for the delay! I am getting back into writing lately and hope to have more of Home Again posted soon.)

"What in the hell are you doing?"

David's eyes widened at the sight of his petite wife hoisting an arm full of clothes from his closet, jerking at the hangers that were still caught. She didn't look up from her task, jaw clenched as she snatched the shirts free with a huff. His jaw dropped when she didn't skip a beat before stomping back to the open bedroom window and tossing them out to land in the yard of 108 Mifflin Street.

"What does it look like?" Regina snapped and turned to finally look at him. Her heart was pounding furiously from anger and she had to clench her fists to contain magic triggered by her emotion.

"It looks like you're tossing my entire wardrobe, the very expensive designer wardrobe you insisted I have, out into our yard-" He pulled off his glasses in frustration, standing near the door as he stared at her for an explanation. She was truly angry, he could tell by the darkness in her eyes and the way her chest heaved. He'd only seen her like this on a handful of occasions during their ten year marriage and he'd learned to tread lightly.

"MY yard," She corrected with a glare before storming across their bedroom to jerk open his dresser drawer, "This is no longer your home. Now would you like to pack your boxers before they end up on the sidewalk?"

"Regina, what brought this on?" His eyed her in bewilderment as he tried to pry it from her. Her anger was theatrical and borderline dangerous when she was Evil-Queen-level mad. And she was definitely there.

"Don't play stupid with me," She snorted bitterly and glanced back at him as she grabbed fistfuls of his boxers and began throwing them at him one by one. "At one time I might of found your dorky, clueless naivety charming but for your sake you'd better not try that right now."

"Okay well, when I left the house this morning you had barely let me out of bed," He raised an eyebrow referencing their morning romp. "And then I come home this evening to find you supposedly kicking me out of my home. It would be great if you could fill me in on what I've done."

Regina looked like she was about to boil over with anger, face contorting at the fact he wouldn't admit to what she knew had been going on. "I saw you! You asshole!"

"Saw me what?!" He threw up his hands cluelessly as she closed the distance between them. Her hair was in natural curls and she was barefoot, wearing one of his sweatshirts over leggings. It was hardly the getup she normally wore and he could tell she'd come home from the office and immediately changed clothes so she could kick him out more efficiently. He almost smirked at her determination before suppressing it quickly at the expression on her face.

"You're going to make me say it?" She glared, crossing her arms over her chest as she squared up to him.

"Well otherwise I have no idea how to fix something I didn't know I did wrong," He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms to mimic hers, musing at the way she straightened her back in response like she wasn't a foot shorter than him. She still didn't respond and he took a deep breath, knowing he would have to prod her some more. "Are you going to at least give me my sweater back that you're wearing before you kick me out? It's my favorite one."

Regina's mouth dropped at his audacity to make a joke of it, spilling over with anger instantaneously, "I saw you and Snow having lunch together! How long has this been going on?!"

"Has what been going on?" He frowned at her, not understanding what she was implying before it clicked and his eyes widened, "You think me and Snow are-"

"Well what else would you be doing behind my back with your ex-wife?! Do you think I'm really such an idiot?" She laughed bitterly, "I should've never believed you. I knew you two would always end up coming back to each other. In fact, I thought it would happen sooner. I guess I can't fault you for staying married to the Evil Queen for ten years. That's longer than anyone else has stuck around."

David's mouth hung open in surprise as his wife began to spin out, shocked at how thoroughly she had convinced herself he was cheating with his ex-wife. He could only stand and stare at her while she finished her rant and then waited for his reply. He cleared his throat, scrambling for words as he processed, "You think I'm leaving you for Snow because you saw her and I having lunch together...in public?" He asked, his heart sinking at how Regina could so easily believe that no one could love her or choose her, and that she deserved to be alone. Her past left lasting scars on her psyche that he had spent ten years trying to help heal. He had vowed to be the man she could trust wholeheartedly and never hurt her in the ways she had been before.

"Babe-" he began, his understanding of her causing his approach to soften considerably.

Regina took a step back, seeing the compassion in his expression and not wanting to give him a chance to get close. Too close to those loving blue eyes and she'd probably let him convince her of whatever he wanted to. She had been so vulnerable and pliant to this man. This man who she hadn't deserved in the first place. This man who wanted someone else. "Don't babe me!"

"Regina," He corrected patiently with a deep breath before continuing, "I love you. I am in love with you-"

"But she's your One True Love, I get it-" She snapped, hating that her voice wavered with the statement. David had burrowed his way into her heart so completely and she had been a fool to believe he would like what he found. It had only been a matter of time before this happened.

"But nothing, Regina," He replied and her expression grew defiant at the calm tone he used. She knew he was talking to her honestly and logically now and it always had a tendency to dampen her rage. David had learned how to talk her down and squelch her tantrums, but he could tell that she didn't want to give up the fight just yet. "I'm married to you and I want to be married to you. I don't want to be with Snow."

"Are you having sex with her?" Regina asked immediately and looked at him as if she already knew the answer, "Because if you're cheating on me with that strictly missionary school teacher, I swear to god-"

"I'm not having sex with Snow," He replied truthfully, looking her in the eyes as he did so.

"Then why didn't you think to mention you were having lunch with her?!" Regina un-crossed her arms, throwing them up in a frustrated gesture. "You always, always, tell me when you are seeing her or may be around her, like when the two of you took Neal to get his first car or when you're going to Emma's and she may be there. You always make it a point to tell me as a courtesy even though I've never asked you to! Why would you stop now unless something was going on?!"

David hesitated as she backed him into a corner with her argument. She was right. He did always give her a heads up when he may be spending time with Snow. Regina had insecurities over his ex, despite how she tried to hide them, and he had always made a point to reassure her in little ways. He didn't have an explanation for today that wouldn't give him away so he scrambled for an excuse, "I know. Babe, it must've slipped my mind-"

She noted the flicker of hesitation in his eyes and knew instantly his response was not a truthful one. "I told you before that I can always tell when you're lying to me, David Nolan. You're a horrible liar."

"When have I ever lied to you?!" He frowned as she brushed past him for the bathroom, undoubtedly prepared to start throwing out his toiletries next. "About surprise anniversary trips or birthday dinners, maybe, but never anything serious!"

Regina snarled when he grabbed her arm, spinning around to jerk it back from his gentle grip. "That's irrelevant."

"No, it's completely relevant, you stubborn, hard headed woman!" He huffed and wrangled in his temper, staring at her intently, "I don't want anybody else Regina. Again, I've never lied to you before."

"Then why didn't you tell me?!" She yelled angrily, pushing on his chest with both of her hands in an attempt to put distance between them but she barely budged his large frame.

"Because we were meeting to plan a party for your re-election!" He yelled, knowing if he didn't confess to the truth that she would continue to spiral. She didn't get like this very often but when she was triggered by something in their past, she let her anxiety take rule over her logic. It was something he couldn't hold against her, given he knew the entirety of what she'd gone through.

"You.. _what_ -" Her lips parted and she stared up at him, eyebrows lifting from their furrowed state in surprise. She stubbornly clung to her bravado by immediately masking her shock as she processed, causing him to roll his eyes at how prideful she was.

"Yeah, you two are good friends and she said she wanted to help when I mentioned it-" David let out a breath, watching Regina remain silent though she looked to be deflating. "And with as far as we've all come and how well everyone is getting along now, I didn't think it would be a big deal for her and I to meet up to plan everything. It was supposed to be a surprise, so that's why I didn't tell you that I was seeing her."

"Oh..." Regina mumbled and glanced away from him, her cheeks tingeing pink as she shifted on her bare feet. She clearly didn't know what to do and he almost enjoyed watching her squirm.

"Do you have something you want to say?" He frowned and watched her wrangling in her pride. Her eyes darted up at his and he watched her visibly swallow her retort. At least she was trying.

Regina's throat worked but no sound came out at first. Her anger seeped away despite how she tried to cling to it, being replaced by guilt with each passing second. She glanced around the room as the haze of her rage lifted, her gaze following the trail of destruction she'd left that led to the window. Suddenly her eyes widened and she looked back to him, "How did you get home?"

"How did I-" David repeated and sighed loudly. God she was hard-headed, "I think what you meant to say was I'm sorry?"

Regina bit her bottom lip as she avoided his eye contact before darting past him, making her way to the open window and leaning out to view their driveway. "Oh...you drove the cruiser home..." She muttered under her breath before realizing she was talking out loud.

David watched his wife slowly straighten and turn to him with a foreboding expression and guilt-ridden eyes. She looked like a toddler waiting to confess to doing a no no and he would've laughed if he hadn't put the clues together. "Regina, what did you do to my truck?"

"Nothing, I was just asking how you got home, I-" She sputtered for words, frowning as if she were shocked at his accusation. Like she was entirely above lashing out in such a way that the suggestion itself offended her.

He saw her wheels turning and her eyes darted for the door. She was clearly plotting how to escape this conversation and go fix whatever she'd done before he found out. His jaw clenched and he inhaled through his nose in an attempt to channel more patience, "Regina, should I start throwing your wardrobe out the window over what you're not telling me? Or are we learning from our mistakes? It's up to you."

Regina narrowed her eyes at his ultimatum before huffing out a deep breath. "I may of been upset after I saw the two of you at Granny's, and..." She hesitated as big, regret filled eyes shifted back up at him. "Fireballs, uhm...some fireballs may have slipped-"

"Regina did you torch my truck?!" His eyes widened at her admission. She nearly winced at the question, her reaction immediately giving her away.

"Just the tires!" She admitted, her own eyes widening, "I'm sorry!"

"How many times have I told you that you can't just throw fireballs at your problems?!" His voice raised uncontrollably and he threw his hands up in an exasperated motion, "Torching Henry's old PlayStation when you couldn't beat a level was bad enough, but setting fire to my vehicle because you think I'm cheating?!"

"It _was_ an impossible level-" Regina replied with conviction at the thought of the Playstation before seeing his eyes darken at her, " _I mean_ \- I know it was wrong, but I was angry! I'll magic new tires for you, really big, brand new tires-" She raised an eyebrow and reached out to run her hands up his arms.

"Nope-" David huffed, taking a step back and holding his hands up. She was going to try to mollify him with sex and he wasn't going to let it work this time, "This is unacceptable, Regina."

"I said I was sorry and I'll fix it," She pouted a little, biting down on her bottom lip as she pulled herself closer to him with her grip on his biceps, "You know I can't stand it when you're mad at me, David."

He glanced down to her, seeing the underlying anxiety in her expression and softening instantly. No matter what tantrum she had thrown or how angry he was, he could never let her think she was beyond forgiveness. Too many people had told her that much. "You know I can never stay mad at you long, Regina."

"Let me make it even shorter then," She murmured, running her hands down to his torso and slipping them under his shirt as she leaned in to peppered kisses over his neck.

"Don't you think we should talk about this?" David suppressed a groan and took a deep breath, keeping his arms by his side, "You can't just go around destroying things and expect me to forget about it-"

"But what if I try really hard to make you forget?" She tilted her head to gaze up at him suggestively as her hands tugged on his belt.

His could feel his resolve begin to lessen at her touch but he tried to remain strong. He couldn't let her use sex to distract him after acting out like this. "You do know that arson is a crime and as sheriff I would have a duty to charge you," He said firmly.

Her mouth dropped in feigned innocence as she slipped a hand into his jeans, finding him already hardening, "I understand, Sheriff Nolan. I take full responsibility for my crimes. Punish me however you see fit..." She stroked him with one hand, the other coming to slowly undo his belt buckle.

"Th-this isn't a game-" He muttered, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she palmed his dick.

"I know, Officer-" She smirked as she got his pants open, hands gripping his belt and the band of his boxers as she kneeled in front of him, pulling them down as she went. "Surely we can work something out."

David groaned as his cock sprang free, standing at attention above her face as she looked up at him, "Minx," He muttered and saw her triumphant grin at his self control crumbling. He'd be more upset over her manipulation if he didn't already know she would feel guilty about this for weeks. She beat herself up more than anyone when she doubted and lashed out at him, and he understood her too well to make her feel worse about it.

"Hmm," Regina hummed and gripped the base of his cock, tilting her head to run her tongue along the underneath of his shaft. She knew exactly what he liked after ten years and she put all of her expertise to work with each stroke of her tongue.

David began to breath heavily as the cool air hit him after each warm lick of her tongue, running his hands into her hair gently. He watched her intently, still amazed every time he saw the great and powerful queen on her knees for him. Calling her his wife and knowing he was the only one who got to see this side of her now made him feel ten feet tall. He groaned when she brought her plump lips to his tip before taking him into her mouth.

"That feels so good," He encouraged with a raspy tone, seeing her eyes shift up to him mischievously before she began to slowly bob her head. She was able to take his considerable length about halfway, massaging the other half with her grip at the root. "Up," He groaned when he felt himself hit the back of her throat, knowing he wouldn't last if he let her keep going.

"What's the matter, sheriff?" She grinned as she stood back up, reaching between them to stroke him more fluidly now with the wetness her mouth had left on his skin.

"You really are something else," He smirked breathlessly, feeling himself growing even harder in her hand. He cupped the back of her neck, leaning down as he pulled her in for a hungry kiss. The height difference was considerable without her heels so he quickly moved his hands to her bottom, picking her up against him as he walked her back to the bed.

Regina grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, legs anchoring around his hips, "I thought you said you liked that I'm unpredictable...that it kept things exciting?" She pushed her hips against his torso teasingly grinding against his stiffness before letting out a half yelp, half laugh when he threw her back onto the bed.

"Yeah but setting fire to my belongings is not what I meant," David grinned down at her as he stood at the edge of the bed, running his hands up her bent legs and watching her part them suggestively. Before he could put his knee on the bed and climb onto her she brought her hands above her head, turning one wrist in a swift gesture that had them both naked when the purple smoke evaporated.

"Is that more of what you meant?" Regina smirked, leaning up on her elbows and keeping her legs spread for him. He could've cum on the spot at her suggestive expression alone, but his eyes traveled down her body and he audibly growled under his breath. Her nipples were pebbled, goosebumps speckling her skin at the sudden exposure to air. Toned abdominal muscles protruded at her torso as she leaned back on her elbows, leading down to sloped hips and shapely thighs. Her legs remained bent at the knee, feet on the edge of the bed and thighs spread apart.

"You're wet already," He raised an eyebrow with a groan as he saw her glistening, glancing up to find her toying with her nipples. This woman would send him into an early grave.

"Are you going to just stand there?" Regina cocked a brow up at him and smirked deviously.

He laughed at her challenge, falling down playfully on-top of her. He pressed his hands into the mattress on each side of her head to keep from crushing her as he leaned down to kiss her hungrily. "You look so good," He groaned against her lips, taking one hand to travel up her thigh to her core. His fingers slid over her clit, finding it slick and swollen with arousal.

David lifted his head to watch her as he began to toy with the bundle of nerves, working firm and steady circles over it. Her mouth opened slightly, eyes fixed on his as he coaxed little moans and whimpers from her. Watching the pleasure play out on her features was like a drug, prompting him to probe her with two fingers and elicit more of a reaction. She moaned louder in response, making his dick throb as her hips curled up to his involuntarily.

"Inside me," She ordered as she curled up to kiss him again deeply. She moaned into his mouth when he leaned over her more, resting his weight on his forearm against the bed so that he could lay between her legs. He pushed the two fingers he probed with inside of her slowly and she exhaled sharply against his lips. "Mmm, I'm glad I didn't have to kick you out," She murmured and he felt her smirk into his kiss.

"Oh really, is this the only reason?" David teased and began pumping his fingers into her slowly, curling them just a little. "Is my wife using me for my body?" He teased, groaning under his breath as he heard the wet noises that came from her sex as he picked up the pace with his hand. "You always do get so horny when you're mad."

" _Fuuuu_ -" She moaned, her hips beginning to rock in time with the movements of his hand. He brushed some hair from her face as he watched her bite down on her bottom lip, cursing under his breath at how she began to grind herself down on his hand, forcing his fingers deeper. Her body reacted to his touch more fervently than any lover he'd had before and he was sure it was a testament to their connection. She was a spirited lover, passionate and confident with her body. Moments like this when she was panting and jerking under his touch made him want to pleasure her endlessly. He felt her begin to tense around his fingers and she let out a breathy whine, "You're going to make me-"

"That's the goal," He smirked when he instantly knew what she meant before leaning down to kiss and suck at the skin of her neck, feeling her begin to writhe underneath him. She was babbling now, incoherent words and whimpers falling from her lips. Her hands grasped at his back as she curled her left leg over his hip, pulling herself up against each thrust of his fingers. Knowing her body so well allowed him to get her there as slowly or quickly as he wanted to and he loved having the power to do so. Turning the queen into a begging, needy mess never got old to him.

"I'm-" She gasped when his fingertips repeatedly drummed against the spot inside of her that had her abdomen tensing and her legs drawing up against his sides. Her attempt at moving her hips with his thrusts became sloppy and her head fell back, eyes screwing shut as she yelped. David groaned when she let out a strangled cry and her walls clenched his fingers, the contraction of her sex so forceful that it pushed his fingers from inside of her and covered his hand and wrist in her cum.

"You're so fucking sexy," David's voice was hoarse as he made his way over top of her, feeling his erection slide along the slippery wetness of her slit.

She almost appeared dazed and she opened her eyes to look up at him, a breathtaking grin accenting her even features, "This was supposed to be about you, sheriff."

"Watching you come is almost as good for me as it is for you," David smirked, his blue eyes a few shades darker as her pinned her hands against the bed over her head. He rocked his hips into hers, letting his dick slip along her wetness to coat himself.

"Are you sure about that?" Regina smirked and ran her hands down his back, feeling the muscles moving along the way before her hands slipped further. She gripped his ass, pulling him against her as she rocked her hips up, grinding their sexes together again with the movement.

"Mhm," He grinned and reached down to grip his cock, positioning himself before sinking into her tight heat fully. The movement elicited moans from them both as he stretched her, slowly sinking the entirety of his length as her body adjusted. "The way your brows furrow and your breath hitches," He locked eyes with her, pulling his cock nearly all of the way out before thrusting again slowly and firmly. "Feeling your nipples against my skin and your nails dig in my back," He pressed their chests together and kissed her slowly, "And that needy little sound you make when you're almost there."

Regina moaned out loud at his words, encouraging him with her sounds as he began to thrust at a slightly faster pace. Her legs wrapped around his torso to move with him and their bodies found the familiar rhythm they'd perfected over time. "Fuck, David-" She growled down his ear when her arms locked around his neck and his lips found her skin.

"So good-" David groaned into her neck as he began to thrust harder and faster, wrapping an arm under between her hips and the bed to pull her body closer to his.

Regina cried out at the new angle, wrapping her legs higher around his middle as she felt him deeper. "I told you this was supposed to be about you," She smirked breathlessly at how quickly she was approaching her second orgasm and knew she had to change positions before she exploded into a quivering mess.

She let her legs fall to his sides and used one to nudge him to roll over, giggling when he locked his arms around her smaller frame and brought her with him.

He laid on his back as she pressed her palms against his shoulders and sat up to straddle him, beginning to rock her hips and ride him roughly. David grunted under his breath as his hands traveled her thighs and he watched her, arms pushing her breasts together as she braced herself, curls falling over her face.

"How could I want anything else when I've got this at home?" He mused.

"If you ever did cheat on me I'd set you and your truck on fire," She smirked breathlessly down at him, hips jerking and breasts bouncing, "You're mine, Charming."

David groaned as his hands found her hips, helping her keep rhythm when her movements began to falter, "Entirely," He managed to reply as he fought to keep control when she rode him fervently, her wetness making his groin slick as she moved. "Fuck, Regina."

"I'm almost-" Regina whimpered, head falling back as she fucked him harder and faster, "God-David-you-feel-so-fucking-good-Don't-stop-" She rambled out loud before letting out a sharp cry, her movements stopping abruptly as she tensed around him. Her nails dug into his shoulders, her hips jerking and stomach contracting, thighs twitching. Her second orgasm crippled her, causing her to body to curl into itself as she reached up to grip the headboard before she fell against him completely. David groaned as he let himself cum deep inside of her, his hips jerking up against hers as he watched the way she leaned into her outstretched arms, panting and whimpering.

Her legs were trembling against his torso and he chuckled slightly, reaching up to bring her down to him, "Come here, my little queen."

"Sometimes I think you're trying to kill me," She said breathlessly with a smirk, laying her chest on his and her arms propped by his head.

"Funny that's exactly what I was thinking about you earlier," David teased with a warm smile, reaching up to tuck a sweat dampened curl from her face. They remained silent for a few moments as they studied one another, letting their breathing return to normal and their bodies regain strength.

Regina's expression gradually grew less playful and more vulnerable as she opened her mouth to speak, "I know you've never given me a reason to doubt you but my life has. You Charming's, you're all hope and positivity, but you know I don't function like that. I still have a fear that someday my happiness will be taken away and I won't even see it coming. So sometimes I look for reasons or signs that it's about to happen, something as stupid and little as today and then it snowballs, I don't know-" She bit down on her bottom lip and shifted her eyes away from him.

"I know," David replied calmly, knowing her inside and out. He understood her anxieties and he couldn't find it within him to be mad at her. He ran his hands in soothing circles over her back, looking up at her honestly, "I understand."

"I'm sorry," She murmured after a few seconds and he could tell her guilt was back for doubting him.

He squeezed his arms around her lovingly, wanting to distract her as he grinned once more, "You're going to have to pretend to be surprised at this party, you know."

Her solemn expression turned into a smirk once more at his teasing, "I'll put on my best performance," She nodded adamantly, "I love you."

"You know I love you-" David replied before laughing as the thought occurred to him, "I should go get my clothes off the lawn before someone sees-"

Regina grinned and glanced toward the window, flicking her wrist and making them all appear in their closet once more, "Already done. I can't have you dressing in nothing but flannels again."

"You love me in flannels."

"Maybe."

"What about my truck?" He raised a brow, hands running over her hips slowly.

She grinned and pressed a kiss to the bridge of his nose before lifting her head, waving her hand above him in a brief flash of purple magic, "Like new."

"Hmmm," He smiled in adoration as he marveled at how soft she could be. Even when she lashed out like the Evil Queen it was to protect her big heart. She felt things deeper than anyone he'd ever known and he'd go down fighting to protect her feelings, no matter the cost.

He noticed she was giving him the look she always did when she caught him gazing at her, the one that was followed by her calling him cheesy or a hopeless romantic. He smirked, deciding to lovingly tease her once more at her eagerness to make things right, "What's that I see? Does my wife have a guilty conscious?"

"Hardly, Charming. I'm just not ready to let you out of this bed yet."


End file.
